PAINS THAT WE HIDE ..... ALONE .

staker .....

sigh ~ finally in the end i choose to publish this post. not because i wan you guys to read it. its just that this can be a update of how i feel recently . . . well. ..i have no choice. since you guys really so interested to read it .

sigh .. sometimes i feel that i'm useless . damn freaking fcking useless .. i'm totally lost .

i really have such a good family. a good parents. a good mum that prepare breakfast for me when i'm going to school. or work. dinner when i got home. or sometimes even lunch during holidays. normally others gotta do those things on their own . worse still. or even in the opposite way. they have to prepare all this for their parents . my mum even help me to wash my shoes ! .. but what i did to her was lik i didnt gave her monthly income instead i still claime money from her. .. how will i make her proud ?

each time i get money from her i'll feel guilty too. how i wish one day i can make them feel proud.

hahas. she must have own me in her previous life .. thats why she normally says. once we're born she cant go on holiday or even shopping.

or probably she did all this to me is because she thinks that she is responsible for giving birth to me. since she gave birth to me she gotta take the responsibilty as a mum. may be if there's a time machine in the world. she might dun even wan to give birth to me . how disgrace to have me as a son. a son that only knows how to spend money. a son who only knows how to play. sleep. going out .

thats how i feel.

how will i make them proud of me ? will she ever be proud of me as her son ? probably she feel shamless too . a son that fails his mathematics and gave up on mathematics since pri 3 .

sigh . .

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